Why Am I

Ryan Estrada has been homeless in a typhoon, thrown off a moving train by police, almost eaten by lions, and banned in multiple U.S. states, and somehow came out of all of it more optimistic than most people.

In this episode of Why Am I?, Ryan traces how growing up anxious led him to deliberately chase discomfort: moving to a new country every year, embracing failure as fuel, and turning everything that goes wrong into a story worth telling. We talk about fear, creativity, rejection, community, book banning, and why mistakes are the most valuable thing an artist can have.

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In this episode of Why Am I, Greg Soul sits down with Fatal1ty, one of the original professional gamers and a true pioneer of competitive FPS. From hustling pool halls at 12 years old to winning world championships across Quake, Unreal Tournament, Painkiller, and more, Fatal1ty breaks down the mindset, pressure, discipline, and obsession required to stay on top. This conversation goes far beyond gaming. It’s about competition, identity, confidence, legacy, and what happens when your entire life is built around being the best.

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In this episode of Why Am I, I sit down with artist and musician Ken Butler, a Brooklyn-based creator who has spent decades building musical instruments from found objects and refusing to compromise; either artistically or personally. We talk about what it means to live as both an artist and a musician, how a strong sense of self can be a survival tool, and why Ken believes it’s essential not to let the stress of the world settle into your body. From creative obsession to mindfulness, aging, and staying present, this conversation is thoughtful, funny, and deeply human.

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In this episode of Why Am I, Greg sits down with writer, naturalist, and professional curiosity chaser David George Gordon; a man whose life has included capturing giant octopuses, writing field manuals on Sasquatch, playing harmonica on street corners, and teaching people how to eat bugs. From the rise and fall of magazine writing, to cooking insects on national TV, to the mystery of cryptids and why we crave the unknown, this conversation wanders through food, fear, nostalgia, science, creativity, and the strange paths that shape a life.

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In this episode of Why Am I, I sit down with Colton Holder, Director of Operations for the Arkansas Renaissance Festival. Colton’s path took him from theater kid, to soul-crushing sales job, to unexpectedly helping build a Renaissance Festival from the ground up. We talk about identity, performance, community, finding your people, and why giving adults permission to play might be more important than ever. This conversation explores how stepping into a character can help you discover parts of yourself you didn’t know were missing.

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Just a quick thank you for everyone listening and a wrap up for the year!

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Step inside The Fantasy Restaurant as Nancy Beverly joins me to build her dream meal. From the atmosphere to the first sip, she crafts a dinner that’s simple, personal, and surprisingly charming. We talk about childhood favorites, homemade touches, and the joy of keeping things unfussy.

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In this Fantasy Restaurant episode, Brian takes his time building a thoughtful meal, choosing dishes that each have personal meaning or a story behind them. We talk through why certain foods stuck with him, what makes a dish “right” in his mind, and the small details that shape how he enjoys a meal.

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Award-winning writer, photographer, and explorer Nancy Beverly joins Greg to talk about creativity, collaboration, and the joy of exploration; from the hiking trails of California to the writer’s room in Hollywood. They discuss playwriting, community, nature, feedback, and even how aliens might communicate through art.

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Former jewel thief Bryan Sobolewski committed over 20 robberies alongside his father and brother. In this episode of Why Am I, we dig deep into what pushed him to that life…and what brought him back. From his chaotic childhood to finding redemption through comedy and nonprofit work, Bryan shares a brutally honest and surprisingly funny look at guilt, change, and the choices that shape us. We also explore how easy it can be to say “that could never be me”… until life lines up just right.

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